Introduction

2010 has been what some would call a blessing or a year of hell.

I started the year off with big bangs. New Years Eve I spent with my Church Family and actual Family including my husband and I celebrated that I survived 2009 which was stressfull because in January I misscarried twins at 12 weeks in a hotel MILES from home on the way back from my honeymoon, in September my husband was discharged from the Navy and due to finacial trouble instead of moving like we planned to Florida to be closer to his family we wound up living with my mother. Before the move I was a Navy wife and we had enough money that I didnt need to work and then I had to work because neither of us had a job. I got hired at CVS as a Cashier and I loved it! I suffer from Anxiety and Panic Disorder and I never once had a panic attack while working there. However, I lost the job in January 2010 due to a mistake that I made. Thats what started my year off bad.

At that point my husband had began working at a grocery store as a cashier and things were rocky, but great. Fast forward a couple months to April and we celebrated my nephew Nicholas's fourth birthday with a Mario themed party that was A HUGE HIT! A few weeks later we celebrated my 21st birthday! I had a wonderful party with family and friends at Rainforest Cafe and a WONDERFUL first "legal" alcoholic drink. A few days after my birthday my mom sat me down and told me the results of a biopsy she had after having a mammogram earlier in the year. She told me that she had Breast Cancer. At that point my world came crashing down. I felt horrible that the past few days I was so excited and celebrating when my mom was holding such terrible news.

The scheduled a lumpectomy to remove the tumors and that would be the end of it. However on the day of the surgery we went in and the doctor called my father and I in to a small xray room where my mother was and showed us that there were more cancer spots than we thought. It was decided that if the lumpectomy were proceeded with it would take more than half my mothers breast and therefore the choice was made to do a masectomy instead. The masectomy went well and my mom doesnt need chemo or radition. She had an expander placed in when the surgery was done and a couple months later she developed an infection that landed her in the hospital and they took out the expander.

Fast forward through the summer and in August/September My husband and I began having problems. He told me he was working over night stock and come to find out he wasnt. Apparently he was having a stressfull time living in my parents house and didnt tell me that he was moving out and in with friends until one week when he stayed out EVERY NIGHT and would barely come home before 6 am in which he had to leave to actually go to work.

Since then we have been seperated and the possiblity of divorce is very high based on problems that have occured since day 1 on our dating and relationship.

I look back on everything that has happened and I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would 21 divorcing, have a first hand experience with Breast Cancer in my family, and struggle with work and going to school.

The one thing that keeps me sane every day is knowing that God/Fate, whatever you call it, is in my life and I may not enjoy the plan that he has for me, but I know that I want happiness and rainbows and no more pain, but I cant have that without a little rain. Sometimes it feels as though I am going to wash away in a flood that is worse than that of Noah's Ark. But no matter what I have a family and a wonderful group of friends who are behind me supporting my back every step of the way!