Thursday, December 16, 2010

Revenge- A short story

SIDE NOTE: This story is slightly gory!
How does it feel to be a person who is so low on the social chain that no one ever hangs out with them? The kinda girl who guys only talk about to make fun of her weight or to talk about how fun it would be to fool her into thinking they like her so that they could get her to go to a public place all dressed up in her best pink dress and heels and put on makeup, all these things dug out of her closet because she wanted to look her best. But when she gets to the restaurant they do nothing more than watch from a bar across the street as she sits alone at the table waiting. When she comes out five hours later they follow her on her walk home throwing rotten meat at her.
                What if that girl got so fed up with torture one day that she formed a plan. This plan consisted of getting a makeover and a new wardrobe all of which to lure those guys and girls into an evil trick. Her parents had given her a credit card and said she could buy whatever she wanted, but before now she wasn’t into material things. She used that heavenly plastic to get a tit job to make her 32B cup an enormous 40DD. She swiped that card at the top retailers to buy purses, shirts, skirts, jeans, anything that would show off her new tits and had her hair dyed and cut so that she was the guy that men idol and spend hours masturbating just thinking about.
                The first day she walked into the cafeteria with her new look the entire room was filled with dropping jaws. Tables and tables whispered if it was the same girl they made fun of everyday for the past year or if it was simply a new transfer student. The girl sauntered over to a table and sat down. Moment’s later guy after guy came over asking if they could go to the movies, the local diner, and study together at the library or at his house, or go to Starbucks. Even the girls came over to ask if they could go shopping together, or to the local spa for facials and pedicures and gossip.
                Oh how did that girl love her new life, she was getting social offers from every which way and more perks like her homework being done in exchange for a feel of her tits behind the bleachers in the gym or simply the chance to give her a ride home and be seen with the hottest girl in school. However what the students didn’t know about this girl was that at home she had a notebook. The notebook had a cute picture of kittens on the cover playing with a ball of yarn but the plans inside were the work of pure anger and evil. She had drawings of knives stabbing the football players that asked her to go out with them after their big games, and poems about the blood dripping all over of the girls who once dared to make fun of her. The worst of all was the stories, poems and pictures of the guys who once said they would never get a hard on from looking at her. Those pictures showed the girl cutting of their penises and shoving them in their mouth or more gruesome things like chaining them up in an old abandoned warehouse near the school and using a lighter each day to burn their testicles slightly or the tip of a blade sliding ever so delicately over their scrotums until it pierced the flesh which led that girl to twist the blade sharply and the boys to scream out in agonizing pain which made the girl laugh because it was the same as the pain they caused her when they made of her. She got to watch the tears fall of their faces and remember the tears that came from her own eyes when she cried herself to sleep at night because tormented her.
                It was only a few months later that the entire school unknowingly experienced the first of her plan. It was announced at school wide assembly that the local football captain, Brent Mallard, was found down by the river with his eyes gouged out and tongue cut off, with a note taped to his chest that read I’m sorry for the cruel things I said and the stares I gave to the reborn. The principal said that the police suspected it was both a sick and twisted suicide in which he left his final mark on the world quoting some Goth poem or rock song, or the work of a murder. The girl shed a few tears as did the rest of the students, but deep down she was crying with joy knowing she could check one student off her list of people to seek revenge upon. The girl also knew that she didn’t have to worry about anyone finding out it was her because she used gloves and the guys own pocket knife and held it in his own hand so that only his prints were upon it.
That night when as she drifted off to sleep she cried tears of joy that she had gotten the revenge she so desperately thought. In her dreams she relived that moment over and over of dragging Brent down to the river with the lure that they were going to make out and possibly have sex. When her alarm went off in the morning she was almost sad to wake up because she was in such a high from having sought the revenge.
She slid out of bed and made her way to the bathroom to clean up for school and when she looked in her full length mirror she screamed. Staring back at her was the reflection of her old dumpy self, her boobs tiny and her hair just as a mess as it was before she had the work done. She rubbed her eyes thinking maybe it was just her mind playing tricks on her but it wasn’t. She ran to her parent’s bedroom and saw the same thing in their mirror. She sank down crying and went back to her room and threw herself upon her bed when she noticed her notebook on her night stand with a note in marker that said “This dream will never come true!” The girl cried at the realization that it was all just a simple dream.


This is something I found whilst going through my computer and wanted to share:

A woman’s body is like a canvas for beautiful artworks to be created upon.
Skin can be tanned by the rays of the beautiful shinning sun or tattooed with meaningful passages, pictures, memorials to deceased loved ones and celebrations of children born into the world.
Hair can be one color when she is born and she can dye it any color in the rainbow and beyond and its new and refreshing.
She can take make up and paint her lips and eyes and cheeks and suddenly it’s as if she is a new person.
You can cover her in the latest fashions, but the most remarkable outfit of all is her own naked body!
She could be a size 22 pants and have stretch marks all over yet she is just as beautiful as a woman who is a size 2 pant and no stretch marks anywhere.
The world has painted a picture of women that they have to be like the Barbie doll. 36c tits, size 0 waist and long flowing blonde hair.
But not all women are like this. There are thousands of different colors of skin and hair and nail polish and make up combinations.
Yet women themselves forget that they don’t need hair dye or nail polish or lipstick or blush to make them beautiful.
Every woman is a golden goddess, and no matter what there is someone out there in the world that is going to embrace her and love her the way she is!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Strength and Sorrow

As 2010 comes to a close in a few short weeks I look at the year and see many things. I see blessings and I see sorrows. When I rang in the new year I never expect that I would be ending the year getting divorced, having a mother who survived a painfully surgery time in her life, and with so many blessings. I have friends who have given birth to wonderful and beautiful children and friends who have found love and gotten married.

Since seperating from my own husband I have put myself back out on the dating field a few times only to get hurt. I have a friend who once told me "You need to take risks to get the reward." That statement is all too true! As I begin the path of opening my heart again and trying to find the person that fate wants me to be with I often forget this.

I am bipolar, I suffer from panic attacks and depression like its going out of style. There are times I wake up in the middle of the night and I start pacing or crying and it hurts badly because I have no one to wrap their arms around me and tell me its gonna be ok. There have been times that I have shown this side of myself without trying to when sleeping with a guy and the results were him just rolling over to go back to sleep! I should have realized that he wasnt right then and there because I know in my heart of hearts that no matter what whoever I end up with is gonna wake up in the middle of the night with me and do everything they can to help me calm down and get back to sleep!

For now I may be single, but I have so much to be thankful for. I have a mother and a father who love me and support me, I have two wonderful sisters always willing to fight for me, a brother in law who has no problem expressing the need or want to kick someones ass when they hurt me, a nephew who at four years old is the most creative, funny, smart and gifted little boy I have ever met, a dog who needs me everyday for something, but most of all I have me! I have the power to pull myself out of bed and wipe the tear marks away and to live another day. To take as many chances fly at me through everything and anything that I do!

My purpose for this blog is to not only let my own feeligns out, but to remind you as the reader that if you ever feel overwhelmed by sorrow, take a step back and SEE the good in your life! It will give you the strength to continue