Welcome to 2016. Let's try to get this post done a second time shall we. I had a long and wonderful post in the process just a few moments ago and technology worked against me causing me to have to restart the browser, losing everything. Add that on top of the EXTRA LARGE coffee my son spilled all over the floor today, and it is not a good day.
But bad days is a theme to this post, since it's about one of my greatest enemies, depression.
Recently I read Kevin Breel's memoir called "Boy Meets Depression." At first my reaction was I didn't like or love it. But after taking a night to sleep on it, I realized just how much the book and I have in common. In the book he talks about being diagnosed in high school. This was the same time that I was diagnosed. I am going to be 27 this year and I was diagnosed at 15. Twelve years I have been battling this nasty disease. It actually has been longer than that. Depression has always been in my life. It runs in our family. My mom suffered, my dad suffers, my sister is Bipolar, my other sister went through a period of depression when dealing with infertility, and so many more family members and friends suffer.
Along with depression I have a diagnosis of anxiety with panic disorder. Neither of these is very easy. Especially now when its the middle of winter. As soon as that sun sets around 4pm I become a completely different person. Not only am I surrounded in physical darkness, but a mental and emotional darkness washes over me. It has always been this way for me. The lack of sunlight and more often I just want to curl up in my bed under a blanket and fall asleep to stay warm and to pass the hours until the sun is shining again.
It is a nightmare to live when all you want to do is sit and relax, but your mind is telling you that you have to get up and keep moving otherwise you are going to have a panic attack.
One thing that I have found help that the book talks about is to reach out to SOMEONE. When days are really bad for me I will pack up my son and I, drive my husband to work, and head to my sisters house. We hang out for a few hours and then I am able to drive home, put my son to bed and head to bed myself.
I have also noticed myself owning up to things with my therapist more. I tell her when things are not good. I have learned that depression is a circular cycle. Sometimes you are in a period of green and things are happy and carefree. Then you fall into the red and things are so dark you wonder if you are every going to see that light again. But then you cycle back to the green and things are good. It is an endless cycle.
Another solution that is available for free 24/7 is 7Cups of Tea. 7Cups is an online site where you can connect with different people who will help you. They have trained listeners for a variety of issues. My experience with 7cups starts almost a year ago. I found out about the site through a friend who was going through postpartum depression. I signed up to be a listener and I would spend hours in the evening taking different chat sessions and helping people. When my mom passed away and my own mental illness picked up, I created my member account. For awhile it sat unused. Recently I have really put it to work again because it is a wealth of resources.
It is a place I can go to chat with someone night or day, which is helpful when I only see my therapist every 2 weeks. I can do mediations to calm and relax my mind. I can view supportive and encouraging posts in my news feed and share them with others. I have my own personal progress path to see just how far I have come on my journey.
If you are suffering, check it out. You can start using the site as a guest and if you end up liking it as much as I have, you can create a free member account. You could even signup to be a listener.
The last thing I love about the book is that it ends with mentioning the resource To Write Love on Her Arms. TWLOHA is a non profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, self-injury, and suicide. It is a wonderful way to get involved in the fight to support mental health.
The greatest thing that I can say is to setup your resources to help you when you are in those dark times. And check out 7Cups, To Write Love on Her Arms, and Kevin's book.
(I received the book for the purpose of an honest review.)
